Friday, October 29, 2010

Beauty for Ashes

Isaiah 61: 3 "and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.  They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.

Emotions and Feelings.  Ugh.  Happy/Sad ...  Joy/Despair ... Included/Excluded ... Peaceful/Overwhelmed ...  the list goes on and on.  I've been stressing over things that I didn't need to stress over.  I know in my mind and in His word that the Lord tells me that I can and should go right to Him and most of the time my heart knows that too.  But lately, I'm not sure what it is ... life just seems hard.  So many changes and challenges seem to be happening, which I think are all great.  Each of them are growing and stretching our family.  And then, I have read story after story of orphans being rescued and see the hurt that goes with it.  My heart hears songs like Matthew West's song "My Own Little World" that tells me about there being a "bigger picture" and I feel motivated.  Then the next day, I am still motivated but something happens to make me loose the wind from my sails.  I think often about what our little one is doing right now on the other side of the world.  I think about how when that little one is here with us how that will change the dynamics of our family.  How it will change my marriage and our kids that are here now.  

Then amidst my stewing my best friend came home with some flowers and said, "I love you".  I sure do love that man.

God is so much bigger than how I'm feeling.  He has all the answers I need.  He reminded me - He has promised a crown of beauty for ashes, oil of gladness for mourning and a garment of praise instead of despair and it's all for a display of His splendor.  It is really not about me and how I am feeling.  Not that I'm not important or how I'm feeling is not important - but to God be the Glory.