I've been a bit weary lately. This world has a way of bringing me down
at times quite often if I let it. Life has been fast paced and busy around here for the last couple weeks. ... day and night. The little boys have been up lots at night still and our days have been busy with lots of fun things like...
Watching our favorite tennis player ...
while we are eating our picnic that included oreo's on this day :)
...and we've been cheering on our favorite soccer player ... number 14!
Climbing to the top of the big slide repeatedly (because the little is just not as fun)
And hanging out with sweet friends ... just to name a few things we've been up too!
I've really been trying to focus on relationship with each of my kids. Not a "peer friendship" type of relationship, but relationship. A parent-child relationship. Letting them know I'm there for them ... love them ... care about how they are feeling ... want to understand them. They are really neat kiddos - all kiddos are. Each of them are so very different. They each are unique and have areas that they excel in, as well as areas they struggle in ... no different than me. I know that I excel in some areas, but I'm all too familiar with the areas that I struggle in. I'm good at being hard on myself. I'm also guilty of thinking that my kid's behavior and choices are a reflection of who I am. Lots of time their behavior and choices are awesome, but it is really easy for me to fall into the trap of being hard on my kids and focus on the behavior and choices that is not so awesome.
Some nights when my head hits the pillow I think though the day and want to change things I did during the day. Little things I said, "the sigh" when the milk spilled again or the tone I used with the teenager who should "know better".
Here's the thing my little guys have taught me. Isaac and Isaiah's first years in Ethiopia were not easy. There is much hurt and pain in their short little lives. Putting myself in their shoes, I can not imagine how it would feel to have to have had to see the things they have to see and endure. I can not image the life of an orphan without a forever family. Now, my sons are my forever sons and I am their forever mommy ... but that is an adjustment for them too. They have been here just a few months and taught me so much. They are adjusting very well, but their world's have been rocked - starting with an airplane ride half way around the world to a different culture, different style house, community, smells, food, clothes, friends ... the list goes on and on. No matter how hard their day (or night) seems to have gone you know what they always wake up with? A smile on their faces and a sparkle in their eyes as they are calling me to their room ... "mommy, mommy ... Burka ... Buche ... mommy, mommy ... Burka ... Buche!" The morning brings a reset. A new sweet day has started. A new journey begins. A start-over.
Tonight, as my head is going to hit my pillow I am reminded that I do not need to be consumed with all the things I should have done differently. I will have a new journey when the sun rises in the morning ... all because of my God's great love! I know He will be faithful to guide me all the way to the end of this parenting journey. For that I'm so very thankful.